Monsters come at night. Shadows pass by eyes while we lay in the dark. A small shiver travels our spine. Goosebumps make an unwanted appearance. I'm scared. What of I hold my breath?
The silence is deafening. Your ears are cocked and listening intently. A squeek, a knock, a foot step, a whisper. What if I hold my breath?
It's funny, when we are kids, we imagine all kinds of monsters that lurk in the darkness of our rooms. Green eyes & long scary faces, ghosts that fly by night, bringing up spirits from lives past. Perhaps something grizzly under the bed, patiently waiting for the moment to strike. A closet door slightly ajar might be the death of you for fuck sake!
It's always the worst things that can happen to you in our active imaginations. Kidnapped by a weirdo that eats children. Being stalked by a boney fingered old guy in a black cloak. Thinking someone might just be behind that shower curtain waiting with a butcher knife. Which I will say, that imagination overload still scares me today! Don't judge, it CAN happen you know!
Our imaginations, often overloaded with illusion, take us away to bizarre & alot of times scary places. They can bring up our greatest fears. They can hold us in place, frozen, trapped without a choice. What if I hold my breath?
Covered up with a comforter, AKA your "armor". Trying to, at the same time, covertly peek out & keep an eye on that door, watching the knob like a sniper on a target through his scope, for the slightest little sign of a turn. I'm barely breathing by now. Maybe I won't be heard.
Don't move. You'll give yourself away. Its the greatst but most pointless game of hide & seek ever. Fucking STAY STEALTHY! Keep your ears sharp. Concentrate. What do you hear? Any noise? Don't forget the floor creaks and the stairs squeek. That's your first warning. Memorize it. The sounds, the time, the day.
The fright overwhelms when you hear the slightest sound, you gasp in air, but only for a second. Breathing is too much noise.
Your nightmares, the same one that happens all too often..
What if...it WAS all real? What if all of your fears & nightmares, even the ones you didnt know you should have, came true? What if monsters actually did enter your darkness?
Listening carefully, didnt matter. Staying stealthy, no matter how quiet you were, didnt matter. How scared you were, didnt matter. How much you wanted it to stop, it didnt matter. He wanted it to happen. Your monster invades your mind, your spirit..your little body. Your fright holds hands with anger, sadness and panic. What if I hold my breath?
What if your monster were real? Smiling at you in the daylight.
Your comforter of "armor" was no armor little girl, what were you thinkng? Monsters are powerful & intimidating. They are a threat, a horror to your young life. You have no capability. You have no control.
It's just a fucking blanket you stupid girl. What's that supposed to do??
What if I hold my breath!?
Amazing mom!!! 😩😩❤️❤️❤️❤️